Why Do Some Men Pay For Sex?

Until I began researching this article, I was of the opinion that any man who paid for sex was either a pervert or so homely looking that he couldn't get a piece of the proverbial pie for free. But then I thought, do guys ever really get sex for free? The simple answer is "no"; there's always some price to pay, no matter how big or small.
But I digress. My inspiration for this article was a particular male friend of mine, Dave, who, as good-looking as he is, insists on seeing a particular escort every couple of weeks rather than finding himself a girlfriend to settle down and enjoy life with.
"Why Dave?" I asked, "Why do you insist on paying a woman who cares nothing for you to keep you company and get your rocks off?"
"Because," he replied, "she brings no emotional baggage to the table, or bed as the case may be; I don't have to listen to her problems, she listens to mine; and best of all, she can give most porn stars a run for their money in the sack. And all I have to do is give up a few hundred bucks. Not a bad investment, right?"

it's cost effective

So, I gathered, sometimes women simply aren't worth the headache. And considering some of the women I know, some guys would probably pay them just to go away.
Then again, isn't comfortable familiarity worth a fight or two? "But I have familiarity; I see the same woman all the time." Hmm, Dave is making me feel somewhat obsolete as a girlfriend at this point.
Aren't there any advantages to having a steady girlfriend, or wife for that matter? Of course there are, but that's not what I'm here for today. I want to know why men would opt to pay a woman for a business transaction in which sex is the barter.
So I hit the streets, bars and lounges in my area of the world and, although some guys made it clear that they would never pay a woman for straight out sex, others freely admitted that, among other reasons, paying for it is far easier than having to play the meet and greet, with only the slight possibility of conclusively greeting a woman's meat.
So without further ado, here's what some guys had to say about hooking up with women in the world's oldest profession:
"Considering I just escaped from a five-year marriage that ended with me paying her to sit on her fat ass and enjoy the fruits of my labor, the last thing I want is a commitment with another gold digger. What I prefer is paying a hot woman to give me exactly what I want without complaining or insulting me. At least that way I know what her intentions are right from the start and I can't fault her for it. To these women, I am the greatest lover, I have the greatest penis and I can do no wrong. And that's the way, un-huh, un-huh, I like it."
-Jake, 34

More comments that'll make your head, yes that one, spin..

"Well, I'm originally from Holland, and prostitution is not only legal there, it's much cheaper than it is here. The thing is, there are brothels there and you know that the women in them are disease-free -- unlike the heroin hookers you may find in the streets. Although I sometimes pay for sex here, it's only because I can have dirtier sex with such women; my girlfriend refuses to go down on me, and escorts -- I don't trust street walkers -- are willing to fulfill my every desire. For the right price, that is."
-Hans, 46

"I simply don't have time to go on four dates with a woman before she even lets me kiss her. So why would I bother spending hundreds, if not thousands, on a woman who may or may not sleep with me, when I can hook up with an incredibly hot chick who fits my physical criteria and will get on her knees upon command? Maybe if I met a woman who really blew me away -- no, not that way -- I would let go of the prostitute thing and go the way of a serious relationship, but for now, I'm quite comfortable living it up on the single side of the spectrum."
-Michael, 39

"To be quite frank (laughs), my wife really let herself go and managed to gain 70 pounds in the last year. I really do love her and she's great with our kids, but man, I can't stand seeing her naked. I can hardly bring myself to touch her. I began going to strip joints to get back that look I used to have at home, but I simply needed to get my rocks off at a certain point and masturbating wasn't cutting it. Of course, it's not the same considering I put on two condoms and engage in straight sex -- no kissing or foreplay, unless she wants to go down on me, but even then it's with a condom because of herpes and all -- and head home right afterwards. I told my wife and of course, she cries about it. What I really want her to do is cry off about 70 pounds, however. Only then will either of us be happy again. I mean come on; I married a mermaid, not a whale."
-Franco, 28

i can understand

Okay, so things are starting to make some sort of sense to me. Of course, I wouldn't be the happiest camper if I found out that my man was paying for sex. First, it would shatter my ego because I'll think that I suck, or perhaps don't, in bed. Then I would get angry because he's cheating -- and yes, it is cheating.
Of course, sex with prostitutes, escorts, hookers, or whatever fancy name you'd like to attach to them, can make a man feel lonely after a while, as many of the men I spoke with admitted.
Being loved by another human being can't compare to getting your rocks off for a price. And although some guys may beg to differ, I think that, in the end, there is a reason why people pair off and commit to each other.

And no, it's not because women make you.


This interesting article is from Askmen.com

The Legality Of Escort Services

Escort services is usually described where companionship is hired for a night of entertainment or for more a night of intimate but non-sexual services, such as massage. For the most part, these services are legal in the U.S. The state legislatures however recognize the reality that escort services are part of the adult entertainment business and pass various measures to control these services and to ensure that they are distinct from prostitution which is illegal everywhere (except strangely some outlying districts of Nevada).
The most obvious reason for this is anxiety is over the exploitation of minors. Others are rooted in an intolerance of prostitution in American culture since the prohibition era and the recognition that it is often a front for other organized criminal activities.
Different approaches are taken by different states. Some use a regulatory approach and attempt to control the activities that take place through indirect means. Utah taxes escort services where they advertise themselves through partial nudity (leaving the obvious loophole of advertising through fully but glamorously dressed females). North Carolina uses zoning laws to establish and maintain boundaries between adult entertainment areas and other 'family' zones. California law requires escort services to have a police license, thus allowing 'unsuitable' businesses to be closed without the necessity of proving criminal charges.
Both federal and state legislatures use anti-trafficking legislation to prevent adult services being sold across state lines again to prevent the exploitation of minors or foreign nationals.
Finally, all states use traditional anti-prostitution legislation to deal with escort services or escorts who step over the line. There are various legal positions on where this line is but most states take it that an explicit ('verbal') offer of genital based sexual activity in return for an explicit offer of money constitutes prostitution. This does not, however, prevent an escort being hired for other services and deciding on a personal basis to have sex with the customer. And in some states or cities (Seattle, for example) if money put down in return but it is not made verbalized that this would happen then prostitution is not deemed to take place.
In most cases, the prostitute is arrested and charged. Different states and districts take different views of the customer. There is evidence of inconsistencies in the application of the law, depending on local tolerance of the activities. The owners of escort services may be indicted but only if it can be proved that they 'knowingly' ran the escort agency as a prostitution service.
The legality of Internet advertising of escort services is also questionable. An advert which is legal in California may break laws in Florida. The age of consent also differs between states meaning that simply entering the site and viewing a picture may leave the individual open to charges of pedophilia. Many sites have taken to posting legal warnings but the technology forces them to leave the decision to enter the site to the customer's discretion.

The UK legal system is often a version of the jokes about good news and bad news.
Prostitution - exchanging participation in sexual activities for money or other goods - has always been legal in the UK. It's actually arguably more acceptable to charge for your sexual skills than your cooking or brewing skills - you need a certificate or license for the latter two!
However, many of the activities that prostitution often involve are illegal.
The legal situation in England and Wales has changed over time, and keeps changing. A government consultation on sex work laws, Paying the Price, was held in 2004 and we await developments from that. The London market is booming since the EU expansion in May 2004 and with a flood of gorgeous women coming to work to the UK - there has never been a better time from a customer's point view as the competition in the business is fierce. So if you find your girl from a reputable Escort Agency, or call one of the independent london escorts you are guaranteed to have a good time.
Escort services do provide a tantalizing and for the most part enjoyable experience. Do your research and go in with your head free of assumptions. In short, as in any area of adult entertainment, discretion is the better part of value.

A call-girl's story

The world of the high-class escort is back in the news again. Lara, 29, charges clients £6,000 a day

Interview by Katy Guest, Published: 18 June 2006

Sex is too easy to get today. We live in a society where everything is easy, and that can be a turn-off. That's not what the men who contact me want. These are very wealthy and successful men, some from well-known companies, and they can get sex anywhere. They like to be challenged and want something more subtle, and the successful women in this business offer them that.

Seduction is an endangered skill, and that's my favourite part of the process. When I interact with someone, even from the first email, what we are trying to do is seduce each other. It's like a dance. I use the term " companionship" for what I do, because there is a spectrum. On one side you have straightforward sex for money, and on the other you have full-blown relationships. I see myself as being somewhere along that continuum.

I charge £6,000 a day, and spend no less than two days with a client. I do it no more than once a month. I always take time to get to know the person first - we email, have lunch and talk on the phone - so I have never been in a situation where I have felt scared. We might go to a social or business event - they introduce me as their friend from wherever- or it might be more personal and romantic. They know that we're going to get some private time afterwards, but the sex is just the icing on the cake.

Most men find me through my website, and I also have a social network of wealthy friends. I don't have a full-time job but I have things that I'm doing. The men prefer it that way, and it's important psychologically: you don't get too immersed in their world.

So much today is not clear. If you go on a date is the guy supposed to open the door for you or not? Are you supposed to offer to pay? In this sort of relationship, each party's responsibilities are clearer. I enjoy that. Men I go out with are very intelligent people, and it is a mutually stimulating environment.

I think it is a common female fantasy to be in this business. I get a lot of emails saying: "It's so exciting, I've always wanted to do it." Anyone can do it but the numbers are against it: it's like wanting to be a ballet dancer. I always wanted to do it, since I was little. It was mysterious, and I like intelligent and influential men. The women in this business are quite influential, too. I've helped people close business deals. There is that free consultation component.

I had to learn myself. About two years ago, I saw the blogging phenomenon and thought, what can I do that's novel? I thought the business was sleazy, and I wanted to make it less so. My first time I was nervous, but we had fun and still keep in touch.

An escort needs a combination of talents. You don't need to be a supermodel - I'm a tall, slim brunette, but there are more beautiful women out there. It can be intimidating for men if you are incredibly stunning. They want someone subtle, intelligent and well versed in life. They have to feel comfortable talking to you about anything, whether business or their family.

About 50 per cent are married. I've heard that sometimes their wives know. In a lot of cases they no longer have sex. Surprisingly, some women feel less threatened if a man hires someone like me than if he had an affair with his secretary. I don't see what I do as wrong. If he's married then something is dysfunctional or some part of the relationship must be broken. Maybe he can't get divorced because he's worth half a billion pounds.

I do have relationships, with clients and others. It can be tricky. I think jealousy is a human trait, and a healthy one, so I treat it on a case-by-case basis. You have to judge at what stage to tell them. Fundamentally I am a romantic person, and I don't feel that's a contradiction. I want to share as much of my life as I can with my partner, and eventually all of my life. I do want to get married. There is a strong romantic component to what I do: it's all about mystery and seduction. If we have a good time for a weekend then sometimes it is quite sad to leave.

I'm not worried that my future husband might be appalled by what I do. The men I get along with are typically very moral people but they have their own internal compass. It means they are a little unconventional, and that's why we have that fit. My past doesn't change who I am: it just makes me a little more colourful. Recently, the majority of my [non-paying] partners have known what I do - or part of it. You don't have to tell everything.

My family don't know what I do, and I would prefer them not to. My close friends know. My ability to pull it off doesn't surprise them - they know I'm good at multi-tasking - and I don't think anyone has been shocked.

For me, this is a temporary thing, although I cannot put an exact date on when I will stop. It's a very good way to learn about people - what makes them happy and sad.

I have also changed my approach to wealth: I get to see extremely wealthy people and they face the same challenges as everyone else. It makes me more philosophical. It doesn't mean anything to have an apartment in New York and a house in London and a private jet: you may be locked into an unhappy marriage or not able to find a woman to share your life with. It actually becomes harder to date - you don't know who's genuinely looking for love and who's looking at your money. For lots of young, successful men, wealth above a certain level can be a barrier to a good relationship.

The reality is that the market for this is very small. It's kind of like a bell curve. Most of the market is in the middle - straightforward sex for money. The higher end requires not just more money but more time. And in our society time is the most precious thing of all.

Source: http://news.independent.co.uk/people/profiles/article1090133.ece

Lara's blog: http://www.jetsetblog.com/

Do you know Amy Taylor

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